I know it has been sometime – but seriously this girl is busy these days.
So its been 3 months since I last posted. Let’s recap.
There was Christmas. I was absolutely ready to send my middle child to wherever. Heck I would have driven her to Mexico and dropped her off if I could have. Instead my ex said he would take her but never did anything to make it happen so we all realized we had to make it work and somehow things got better. I’ll give the middle child credit for this because she did a really good job teaching herself to not lose her shit and in turn I did what I said i would -which was be a better mom if she stopped acting like satan’s spawn.
Then in January I went back to school because, you know, my first 3 career choices haven’t worked out and a 6 figure school loan balance isn’t enough for me. I want more! Ok I don’t want more loan balance and that’s fine because I am about $2k from being maxed out on my undergrad limit and about $20k from being maxed out on my grad limit. Good to know I can still go back for a complete master’s later if I feel like the three Bachelor’s Degrees I am going to have when this stint is over, aren’t enough.
I don’t think anything remarkable happened in February unless you count the fact that I only missed 1 class which is like some sort of record for me. I also managed to keep A’s in all of my classes.
This month I still have managed to keep all As. Barely but I have done it. This is a first for me. I am not a type A person but with school I actually have goals and motivation and I have a plan. Like a very good 2.5 year plan and a 5 year plan and then even a 10 year and 20 year plan. It is like crazy land over here.
During spring break I took a little vacation (if you can call it that) and took another class (see more crazy cakes- I mean who takes classes when they are on break from classes). Basically now I am certified to tell people they are being idiots. Ok that’s not really what its called but I do have a certification that backs me up when I tell people they are being idiots. During my vacation I went to a MLS (major league soccer) game and saw some friends from where I used to live. Then I spent my evenings being tired from spring forward and then traveling to a different time zone. I did have dinner out with some friends local t where I was and I got to clear my car windows of snow not once or even twice but three full times. School and snow? I obviously do not know how to do spring break properly. Though I did get comfortably drunk in a bar on cider and hard liquor that I didn’t even pay for. So I guess I didn’t do it all wrong.
Overall life has been fairly smooth and honestly if it wasn’t I would have no idea because I have spent most of my time at school or doing school related things.
Life has been so tense the last few weeks. I’m not even sure where I would begin to talk about it or how to even start. It has me anxious and crazy feeling. I’m starting to wonder if there’s more going on (or not going on) in my head than I originally thought.
I wonder if I have some sort of anxiety disorder and that is the root of most of my issues.
Maybe what I think is just getting stressed out is anxiety in a nasty disguise. A disguise that makes me freak out over the smallest things. A disguise that makes it where I’d rather stay home than do anything; where the idea of staying in bed fpr the next4 7-10 days sounds appealing.
Why am I unable to deal? And is anxiety causing my depression or vice versa?
Does everything happen in threes? Surely I hope not because I just spent my second day in the ER with a kid. It was a different kid this time and asthma instead of stitches but it was still me spending about 4 hours in the ER.
I am not sure I can emotionally or financially afford another ER visit – not to mention this is actually the 4th ER visit of the year for us.
It’s a bit much don’t you think?
oh and as a super duper bonus when your kid has an asthma flare up they get to go on a steroid which turns them into satan’s spawn and considering this kids non-roid-rage behavior as of late I think the Mayans might have been predicting this as the end of the world.
I like reading.
I like Harry Potter.
I like to paint.
I like to spend mindless amounts of time on Facebook.
I like watching Football. Not the kind with the hand egg, the kind with actual feet and balls.
I like dark chocolate especially if it is surrounding strips of bacon or almonds and sea salt.
I like pink salt (it just tastes better).
I like rocky road ice cream.
I like puppies and kitties.
I like it when its cool and windy.
I like when there is thunder and lightening and maybe even a tornado warning.
I like Apple products.
I like my new phone even though its no longer an Apple product.
I like my kids (usually) and I like my husband (most of the time)
BUT what I do not like is spending the entire day in the ER when I was planning on chilling at home with my youngest two and a friend and her kid. No. That I do not like but that is how I spent my Friday after my youngest, who just barely celebrated his 2nd birthday not even a full week prior, decided to collide head first into a toy(?!?!?!) that split open his eyebrow.
I also do not like watching as they stick a needle in my kids face to numb it up completely so they can sew it back together. I do not like watching my (or anyone for that matter) get stitches. I suppose I should feel lucky because the last time I watched a kid get stitches was March of 2001. If I could wait another 11+ years before having one of my kids get stitches that would be just fine and dandy with me but since this is this little dudes 3rd time in the ER for a freak accident this year I do not think I will be that lucky.
Sometimes it’s the little things that really can start your day off right.
Like reading an email from the library that says that type hold is FINALLY in.
So guess who is going to the library today and guess who is going to spend much less time on the internet tonight?
Me. Me. ME!
Thank you JK Rowling and Hellllllllooooo “The Casual Vacancy.”